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  • Your Love Notes Here
  • Love your luminations!Thanks for the great review - other brides have copied your cake idea since, a number of times. Happy Holidays and happy marriage! Sugar Sugar; www.cake.bz

  • i love the things you have there although we are getting married in Miami it is very helpful and makes me see that i am not the only one a bit freaked out. -Monica

  • This is a great website. It will be very helpful for those who are soon to be engaged. Best of luck! Amanda

  • Great site! I am going to order some christmas gifts from them! Thanks! You are off to a great start! Love the pictures! take care, Stacie

  • Great site you've got here! I'll definitely be back. I LOVE the idea of the safari in South Africa for a honeymoon. I'll have to mention that one to my honey! -Erica

  • You have a fabulous site! -Françoise Shirley

  • I am so so excited you are dong this…not to mention ive already read 75% of it and im obsessed. Will you be my wedding planner?? -Jennifer

  • So, obviously already the highlight of my day, your blog is hysterical! It is so adorable - not to mention true! I could not have written it better myself, you totally captured the whole process…. -Bess

  • Love all of your suggestions!!!! Keep them coming! -Aimee

  • I appreciate your thoughtfulness and insight into the "wedding year" and what being married is really all about...-Beth

  • I have told everyone I have spoken to about how amazing your website is! I already bought one of your suggested books for my mom! Love the Longchamp idea, too. -Tracy

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    Amy Sohn's take on Married Life

    More About Me

    • 169721338505_0_sm
      Some photos capturing our wedding and honeymoon safari in South Africa.

    November 01, 2005

    Message from The New Wife

    It occurred to me that after I got engaged in August of 2004, all that most of my friends and family wanted to talk to me about was The Wedding.  Everything centered around The Wedding.  I'm also a Social Worker, and it's in my nature to think about issues and dynamics much more than the next person does.  It occurred to me during that time in my life that people's expectations of being engaged is just shy of literally becoming Cinderella herself.  This was clear to me through people's bubbling questions and expectations of me and how I must've felt and reacted to being Engaged. Obviously, life isn't always this transparent and people do not operate on such a surface level. In fact, I found my engagement year to be an incredibly trying one - there are so many changes occuring and so much planning for the future that we sometimes take the present for granted.  All the focus and emphasis is placed around The Wedding - a far-off, sometimes even non-existent date, which we expect with its arrival to absolve us of all of our anxieties and grievances with the present.

    I'm making this site for those that need some help in navigating through their engagement.  I understand that getting engaged is a lot more complicated than just planning the event in itself.  It's about feelings, changing relationships, and a huge life transition that sometimes doesn't happen all on its own.  In addition to my social work background, I can also help you plan this thing.  I'm providing tons of information and reviews of vendors i've picked up along the way. I'm adding things you don't want to talk to your friends about, or even your mom (and of course not your fiance!) I'm adding a column centering exclusively around 'The Relationship' which will undergo many changes as it matures from bofriend-girlfriend status, to getting engaged, to being married.

    I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed creating it.  Enjoy.  And Good Luck.

    November 03, 2005

    The List: The New Wife's To-Do's

    Here's a list to help you get started. Just click on the links, print out and mail in the forms.

    • Both you and your fiance will need to go to city hall together to apply for a marriage license.  You'll take the new license with you upon departure, which your officiant signs the day of your wedding. Do not forget to make out the $35 as a money order payment only!http://nycmarriagebureau.com/about/marriagelicense.html

    Bachelorette Ideas

    SO, once you've picked a party your bridesmaids might want to start planning your bachelorette party.  In my opinion it's usually best to sit back and let your bridesmaids plan the party itself, because afterall this is a party for YOU. However, I do think it can be a bit strange to have your closest friends planning a party for you that you have absoltuely no role in.  I think it's nice when the bride helps direct her bridesmaids to the type of party she wants. Let your Maid of Honor know if all you've ever wanted is strippers, or a neon-lit limo escorting you to various bars, or just want to take it easy and spend a night in with your closest friends.  Ducky

    2_1 My bachelorette party was an amazing night i'll never forgot. I wanted to be sure to do something fun that involved the entire party, not just centering on me. The girls hosted a sexologist to come to the apartment and teach us about sex! She gave out sex toys, had a raffle, answerered our questions -- it was a BLAST! Check out her website: http://www.duckydoolittle.com/

    A great idea is to start a "Memory Book" for the bride. One of the bridesmaids can organize this, having close friends of the bride write funny memories of the bride when she was still single, a top 10 list of things you hope she brings into the marriage (or habits to kick to the curb!) I love the memories my friends wrote about me; it made the entire night for me much more special.

    Afterwards we went bar-hopping in Murray Hill to our favorite old haunts, and ended the night at my friend's apartment nearby where we chowed on pizza and chocolate and yummy late night snacks. 

    This was an amazing party because it was really not only what I wanted - but everyone had a great time. Just make sure to communicate the basics to your bridesmaids, then sit back and enjoy the ride. It will be a night you will never forget (or have trouble remembering the next day....)

    Some other ideas for a NYC Bach Party:

    Birdy's Bachelorette Party - for a cheesy good time! http://gonyc.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ&sdn=gonyc&zu=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.birdysbp.com%2F

    Lucky Chengs - a New York Icon http://www.planetluckychengs.com/

    How about a customized, all-inclusive girl's night dinner at Son Cubano?   http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/11488685/new_york_ny/son_cubano.html

    If you'd enjoy watching boys sing naked in front of you for an hour and a half, then you'll have a romping good time at www.nakedboyssinging.com!

    For a high-end weekend ala Sex and the City:

    • Mercer Kitchen
    • Blue Ribbon Sushi
    • Harrison
    • Canal Room
    • PM
    • Luahn
    • Suede
    • Marquee

    Honeymoon Help

    Planning the honeymoon can be one of the most rewarding and gratifying experiences of the entire wedding process.  But choosing the right place and finding the right time to go isn't always that smooth.

    For our honeymoon we wanted to choose something different, a vacation we wouldn't otherwise get to experience. We chose South Africa and spent a week on Safari followed by a week's exploration of the rest of the country. It was an absolute trip of a lifetime, and I feel so fortunate we were able to do this trip at this point in our lives.

    Singita_to_useFor the first part of the safari we went to Singita, www.singita.com, a luxury game Singita_to_use2_1 reserve within the Sabi Sands. Here we stayed in individual lodges set apart from the rest of the guests, complete with our own heated pool overlooking the desert bush, colonial furniture and vibrant, ethnic craft and relics. Each morning we were awoken at 5:30 by a ranger who escorted us to the main lodge where we were greeted with coffee and hot chocolate. Warm water bottles and wool blankets awaited us on our jeep, as our ranger and spotter took us on an exploration of the land that waZebrea_to_uses Lions_to_use nothing short of unforgettable. We viewed so much more than the "Big   Five" and i've included some pictures on my photo album. We would return to the lodge after our morning drive where we awaited by a bountiful, delicious buffet. Afterwards, we would relax at the lodge, and even had massages under the sun on our own patio! Lunch was mid-day, another glorious buffet, and at 4:30 we met up with our rangers again the main lodge, where we were treated to hot chocolate before commencing our night drive. The night drives were my favorite - here we would view Lionsnocturnal animals emerging, and lions stirring from their slumber about to start their night hunt. As the sun set, we paused and sipped wine under the African stars as the sun disappeared into the bushveld. We returned to lodge, would take a nighttime swim in our pool before dinner. Dinners were incredulous - replete with indigenous fruits, delectable cheeses, and expertly paired wines selected by the sommelier himself. Nothing compared to the bond we shared with our ranger and spotter - their ability to spot an animal twenty miles in the distance based on the shape of a hoof-print left hours ago in the sand was literally unbelievable. If you are planning a trip to Singita please request Andre D'Hotman and tell him we sent you!

    Boma Next, we went to Leopard Hills, www.LeopardHills.com, another reserve in the Sabi Sands. Our glass-fronted suite situatied atop the African bushveld came with it's own sundeck, outdoor shower and rock plunge pool. Here we met other Leopard_2_1 honeymooners and shared dinners with them under the stars in the BOMA -a reed-enclosed hut centered around a huge fire. Different terrain than Singita, here we saw the deadly hippos and other water animals.

    Tsala_2 After Safari we went to Plettenberg Bay, a beautiful coastal town located alongside the Garden Route. Plett Bay is characterised by it's beautiful view over the Indian Ocean, rocky peninsulas, towering indigenous forests and unpolluted rivers and sea. Here we did a lot of hiking and exploring and shopping and stayed at Tsala Tree Tops, www.TsalaTreeTops.com, where we had our own timber-lodge suite located twenty feet above ground! This tree-top lodge was complete with its own fireplace, where we roasted marshmellows and made smores.

    Cape_grace_1 Next we went to Cape Town, the capital of South Africa, where we stayed at the Cape Grace, http://www.capegrace.com, located right on the waterfront. From Cape Town, we took a day trip to the nearby winelands and visited world reknown Stellenbosh, where we tasted indigenous grapes and tasty wines. We went to Cape Good_hopePoint, the southern most tip of South Africa where the warm Indian and cold Atlantic oceans connect - a thirty degree difference between the both! We tasted wonderful foods and went to some wonderfully special restaurants, including The Tableway Codfather in nearby Camp's Bay, where we could choose our own fish and how we wanted the cook to prepare it.

    Finding Your Ketubahs

    Choosing a Ketubah is an important part of the Jewish wedding tradition.  Make sure to choose one that is not only artistically interesting, but one with meaningful text as well. There is a large range of texts you can choose from, from Egalitarian to Orthodox. We chose an Egalitarian text which I find very meaningful. We choose a Nishima Kaplan original that is both unique and non-traditional. You'll find one that speaks to you too. Here's a list to help you get started:

    KetubahJ Levine Judaica - Everything Judaica here at this great store on 5 West 30th St. We got our Ketubah here - great selection and good prices, too. 

    Alljudaica.com - Online Shopping for Jewish Gifts, Jewish Books, Jewish Holiday Items

    Judaism.com - Ketubahs (Ketubot, Jewish Marriage Contracts) By Nishima Kaplan
    Nishima Kaplan is the Japanese-inspired artist who designed ours.

    Bridesmaid Dresses!

    Choosing the right dress for your bridesmaids to wear is no easy feat.  The best way to tackle this, in my opinion, is to have some idea of what type of style and color you want the girls to wear.  Look through some magazines and see what stands out for you.  Go first with your Maid of Honor. In my opinion, it's much easier shopping just the two of you rather than bringing in your entire party all at once.  My Maid of Honor and I went to a few stores in New York before deciding on one. We made an appointment at Bloomingdale's at their bridesmaid's department (yes, they do have one!) This was a great shopping experience. Dresses were pulled before we even got there which made the entire shopping and trying-on experience so much less overwhelming. *I just heard that you can save up to 30% by getting your dresses here. Open up a Bloomingdales account and watch the savings add up!*

    Vera_waqng_2 Next we went to Vera Wang; http://www.verawang.com/maids. Vera Wang has a wonderful selection of dresses in all shapes, styles, and colors. At Vera Wang, we narrowed it down to three dresses and then let the rest of the bridesmaids decide which one they liked the best to wear.  The nice thing about this store is they give you a 10% discount when you buy for six or more bridesmaids.

    There are tons of stores in the city and online you can look at -- in my opinion, price and style mattered the most. In both areas Vera Wang really beat out their competition!

    How to pick 'em and what they do

    Choosing your bridesmaids can be a very difficult thing to do. You don't want to leave anyone out, and yet you don't want to invite every girl you've known since you were six. In my opinion, it's best to keep your party to no more than 6 or 7.

    The best advice I can give regarding bridesmaids is to choose the friend you really want to be there with you during and throughout the wedding journey, and of course actually in your wedding. Choose the friend that you think would be honored to be in your wedding, will enjoy the responsibilities and make the day and transition to your wedding EASIER for you. Afterall, this is the primary role of the bridesmaid!

    CardBecause it is such a big responsibility, I think it's nice when the bride gives the bridesmaid a small gift when she asks her to be in her wedding.  For my girls, I gave them each "Will You Be My Bridesmaid?" cards that you can find in most wedding-related stores. I bought mine at Kate's Paperie on
    Bridesmaid21 www.katespaperie.com, but you should also be able to find them at www.papyrusonline.com. In these cards I wrote personalized poems to each girl signifying how important it was for me they would be with me on my big day.

    I also gave them each cute books I found on Amazon related to being a bridesmaid, which I listed on the left.

    As we got closer to the wedding, I planned a bridesmaid dinner at my apartment, which I catered (and my mom helped cook!) I gave the girls their presents on this night, as I felt it would be less hectic and more intimate than giving it to them at the rehearsal dinner. This was one of the ways I showed my gratitude and thankfulness for all their hard work!

    These are just small things you can do to make your bridesmaids feel loved and wonderful - as special as their friendship with you has made you feel. And lastly - remember, this is YOUR day. YOU make the rules. YOU choose the friends that YOU want by your side. This is all about you (at least for right now!)

    A Return to the 50's?

    How full circle has our society become?! We are more 1950s today than the actual 1950's were.  Maureen Dowd's article in the NYTimes made me think that today, your average woman would rather trade in her CEO status for a dazzling 3 Carat ring status.  It's not even about getting married - it's about having babies. And young.

    Women now are more likely to change their name to their husband's than ever before. Think of the studded and bedazzled "MRS." t-shirts that publicize and promote the "wife" status. As Maureen Dowd's article (on the left) points out, women now want to stay at home and be taken care of, becoming exactly the domestic goddess' the previous generation of women warned us against.

    In a way it seems we are back to the basics, trying to re-define the role of a woman previous generations fought so hard to firmly establish. Can she be both a successful, working woman and a loving, nurturing mom? Does one ever suffer for the other?

    November 04, 2005

    Being a Newlywed...

    One of the most recent questions I hear now is, "SO? How is married life?! What's it like?!" This is a pretty difficult one, because my answer is not so succinct and i'm still not even sure there IS an actual answer! But I do feel that there are subtle differences. On the night of our wedding, I remember the first thing as feeling "different" was being called Mrs. Gordon by the entire hotel staff. My husband and I played with this new name of mine for quite some time. Other things - on our honeymoon, we just felt MARRIED. This idea of being a married, honeymooning couple was reinforced by everyone around us who just looked at us and treated us as "honeymooners."

    Now, on a day-to-day basis, I just feel more settled and secure with our married status. Things have calmed down tremendously. I'm not running around every weekend with wedding things to do - i'm not obsessing over details for the big day. Life has slowed down. There's more free time. My questions that would keep me up at night when I was engaged have all been answered, or at least are in the process of being answered. I no longer have to wonder what it will be LIKE to be married because, well, I am. Not all that much from that outside has changed, yet on the inside I feel incredibly different. We are a solidified unit which can't be compromised by stupid arguements resulting over which table we should seat our distant third cousins.

    I also like seeing my husband wear his ring. I feel like it's OUR ring and I like picturing him wear it even when I'm not with him. These are the differences which can be hard to communicate to others yet only spoken and felt between husband and wife. Yes, I like that. 

    NYC Vendors

    My mom and I went to the Wedding Library on 43 East 78th Street, www.weddinglibrary.com, which I found to be extremely useful. Through the library we were able to get referrals for photographers, videographers, invitations, and so much more.

    We ended up using Farrel Duncan, our amazing photojournalist who shot our wedding. You can find her stuff at http://www.farrelduncan.com/. It is so important to find a photographer that you really click with - she plays such an invaluable role on your wedding day. Before I walked down the aisle, Farrel, my mom and I were left alone. She was a part of some very intimate moments and I liked that a lot.

    I found my videographer through Craig's list. I wasn't sure at first if I even wanted one - it was important to me that there be no intrusive flashes, and that the cameras become almost invisible. Abby is a recent Tisch film school graduate who shoots in a very artsy, photojournalist style. Contact me for more information.

    Carid did my hair - he's an amazing stylist who has been doing my mom's hair since she was 25, so do the math! Carid did a beautiful job and has such a calming, wonderful personality that I loved having him in the bridal suite with me on the day of our wedding (quite important!)http://www.caridnyc.com/

    I just heard about a great deal for wedding invitations. Kate's paperie hosts bridal events - if you attend one, you get 10% of your wedding invites! http://www.katespaperie.com/store/events.php

    Flowers_for_webBelle Fleur was my florist.  Margaret worked with us on every single detail and made it a very personalized (and beautiful!) experience.  You can find her work at www.bellefleurny.com

    Wedding2 We made out-of-town gift bags to great and welcome our guests to New York. 'My Own Labels' is a great website where you can customize and create personalized stickers, CD labels, wine bottle labels, and even bottled water! http://www.myownlabels.com/.

    Dance the night away at the wedding with your husband but practice with Dance Manhattan studios! We took six private Saturday morning classes, chose our own song, and were able to communicate that we didn't want such a stylized first dance number. Ask for Peter - he's wonderful! http://www.dance-manhattan.com/

    Dresses_1Anne Barge designed my dress and we found it at the Bridal Atelier on 127 East 56th st. I loved this store because they carry various designers and give you a very personalized shopping experience. I worked with Sandra, who was fantastic. You can find their work at www.bridalatelier.com.

    Other good places in the city to find a dress are:

    • Amsale
      625 Madison Ave., nr. 58th St., 2nd fl.; 212-583-1700; amsale.com

      Made-to-order and couture gowns range from $3,000 to $16,000.
    • Barneys New York
      Madison Ave. at 61st St.; 212-826-8900; barneys.com
    • Bergdorf Goodman
      754 Fifth Ave., nr. 57th St.; 212-872-8957
      Specialized consultants will help with shoes, tiaras, and undergarments should you need it; dresses are $3,500 to $40,000.
    • Clifford Michael Design
      45 E. 60th St., nr. Madison Ave.; 212-888-7665; cliffordmichael.com

      This elegant two-floor salon has a good selection of dresses for any traditional bride (or her mother), and my mother! My grandmother also bought her dress here.
    • Kleinfeld
      8202 Fifth Ave., at 82nd St., Bay Ridge, Brooklyn; 718-765-8500; kleinfeldbridal.com
      You haven't really shopped for a wedding dress until you've checked out the 1,000 styles at this world-famous emporium. Gowns start at $1,000.
    • Michelle Roth Design Studio
      24 W. 57th St., nr. Fifth Ave., Ste. 203;  212-245-3390; michelleroth.com             
      Roth's gowns start at $4,000, and her one-on-one sessions and active design studio make for an unforgettable dress.
    • Reem Acra
      14 E. 60th St., nr. Madison Ave.; 212-308-8760; reemacra.com
      Sophisticated brides drool over the custom couture gowns that start at $20,000. Customized ready-to-wear versions start around $3,500.
    • Saks Fifth Avenue
      611 Fifth Ave., at 49th St., eighth fl.; 212-940-2269; saksfifthavenue.com
      Don't be fooled by the bustling main floor - the bridal boutique is intimate, relaxing, and has fitting rooms the size of some studio apartments. Great service, selections, and prices here!
    • Vera Wang
      991 Madison Ave., nr. 77th St.; 212-628-3400; verawang.com
      The grande dame offers gowns for every kind of bride (from $2,490).

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