Luminations of a New Wife

What do you do with your old bridesmaid dresses?

Lately it seems that a few of my friends have been brewing up ideas of what to do with their old bridesmaid dresses.  One of my friends was able to wear her bridesmaid dress to another wedding with some simple tailoring and stiching which is truly the best outcome for any bridesmaid dress. I mean, really, to take the thing out of the closet again for any reason whatsoever is the ultimate scenario each dress strives for.  But, I mean really, what do you do with yours?  Some ofther friends have thought of starting their own charity where ex-bridesmaids can donate their dresses to inner-city high school students so they can wear these dresses to their prom. It's such a great idea in theory...

More specifically, do you dry clean yours after you wear it? Do you hang it in your closet in a garment bag, or fold it in half and store beneath your other clothes? Or do you hand it off to your mom so she can store it in the special place all your old clothes go?

More ideas for the perfect bachelorette party...

Recently I attended a bachelorette party weekend for a college friend in Boston - such a great party with so many memorable experiences...first off, I have decided that having at least part of the party in someone's apartment is the absolute perfect location. Hillary's party was kicked off in her apartment, where we played games and ate food and drank to our heart's content. An apartment is homey and warm, and provides the opportunity to meet new friends and bond with old ones without distractions of bomping music or the formality of a sit-down dinner. 

The following day, we designed our own handmade bags at 1154 Lill on Newberry Street. You  start by choosing the shape and style of your bag, and then choose the accompanying fabrics. I made a make-up bag, most of us did, and am so excited to receive mine in the mail. This is a great party place which easily accomodates parties of large sizes - it's girly, it's intimate, it's creative - you'll love it. 

Later that night, Hillary's maid-of-honor organized a delicious pre- fixe menu for us at Lucca in the North End of Boston, where this guy played songs that made me senti:

and we all posed for pictures:

The festivities continued at Improv Asylum which is literally one of the funniest comedy routines I have seen in awhile. Grab a bottle of wine as you sit around this theatre-in-the-square. The actors riffed on how Hillary met her fiance, interviewed her in the audience and then made an adorable skit of their first date: 

Afterwards, we ran over to this club where we danced all night (or, um, till 2 when the music shuts off and the lights blast back on. Gotta love Boston.)

It was an amazing bach weekend and each event was planned perfectly...p.s. how cute are these hats? Both Hill and her MOH wore these adorable hats with pictures and festive doo-dads coming out on all ends. Blow up your bride here and make her wear her own.

I want Kristin Armstrong to be my friend. I just saw her on Oprah and absolutely love the candid way she speaks about her own marriage, her expectations of becoming engaged, and what it was like losing part of her self to her famous husband, Lance. Please read Kristin Armstrong's article here - it's in this month's Glamour and it's a great read - the thing that stood out the most for me was the bold statement she opened with on Oprah:

"The greatest conspiracy in modern history is not Watergate or the shooting of JFK; it's something far more ingrained and insidious in the way it distorts the truth. The conspiracy is marriage. "

Of all my engaged friends (there are currently four sporting rocks)- two sorority sisters, a friend from NYU, and now a co-worker - each one has expressed to me a different angle of the engagement that is hard and challenging. Each one has said to me, panicked and red-faced, while grasping my arm and leaning in to tell me a secret: "No one told me it would be like this!" Well listen up girls, listen up. I'm going to tell you once and then I really want you to take this in - being engaged is NOT easy. As I was the first of my friends to get engaged I didn't benefit from an older sister's sagely advise, and was totally thrown for a loop when I realized all of the stress involved in planning a huge event involving different families. The best way to enter your engagement is realistically - try hard to remain there even when the fantasy tries to pull you out. Take off your damned ring if that makes it easier for you. And for goodness sakes when it's your turn to say "I will!" don't come crying to me saying you had no idea.

Now consider yourselves all forewarned...

Updated: I know what to do with your bridesmaid dress!

So this one is for my friends Lisa and Meredith who independently came up with the great idea of donating bridesmaid dresses to inner-city high school seniors so they can wear something for their prom.  I read over the weekend that America's Next Top Model Naima Mora donates her dresses to the Priceless Gown Project  which provides prom dresses to underprivileged high school girls.  This Bay Area based volunteer organization accepts your dry-cleaned dresses and donates them to inner-city schools.

For a New York based charity, check out Operation Fairy Dust which accepts your dresses dry-cleaned (removed the hanger) dresses. Keep in mind these dresses are intended for girls 16-18 so they should be appropriate for them. I am sooo excited to find something to do with my old beautiful dresses! Click here to get your tax receipt. This charity is run by volunteers, none of which are paid and all of whom do it on their spare time. If you want to get more involved, contact volunteer information here. I am so excited to get involved and give my dresses to someone who could really benefit!

We just returned from St. Louis where we were to celebrate Hillary's wedding which was not only gorgeous but such a blast. I'm waiting for the pics because words alone won't do it justice...

Hillary and Scott's wedding was as beautiful as it was different and unique. On Friday night we arrived to our hotel room in St. Louis and received the nicest out-of-town bags; Hillary hired an illustrator to draw a map of St. Louis highlighting the places we would be visiting and celebrating. This was such a cute keepsake that gave the out-of-towners a sense of where they were and where all the nearby attractions are. That night, we all met out at a nearby bar, J. Buck's where the Rehearsal Dinner guests spilled over into. Both Scott and Hill met at Union (when I was rooming with Hill senior year!) so it was so much fun to see everyone from school and reminisce and get senti and share in the excitement of the weekend. 

On Saturday morning, there were two different bus tours that left from the hotel, taking guests on a tour of St. Louis. For those that chose to sleep in and not go on the tour (um, that would be us) we walked into the nearby town of Clayton and had brunch at First Watch as we toured the neighborhood and visited the cute little shops. So, no I can't take credit of the picture of the arc. The buses picked us up from our hotel at 5, and took us to the church for the ceremony. The church was beautiful, and Hillary was an absolute beaming bride as she walked down the aisle. Aria Dresses make stunning bridesmaid dresses - I actually looked there for my own bridesmaid dresses. Hillary's girl wore silk shantung dresses in either celery or leaf with a slate sash. Just gorgeous!

The color of the bridesmaids dresses was a rich, deep green which was beautifully accented by their pink, floral bouquets and a lighter shade of green sash which tied around the waist.

After the ceremony we headed to Randall Gallery for the reception. It's such a unique idea to hold the reception inside a gallery. The colors of the wedding were pink and green which were beautifully themed together throughout the entire wedding. The cocktail tables were dressed in pink table clothes clutched together with a green sash beneath the legs. The centerpieces were gorgeous pink flowers tucked inside a green vase.

After cocktail hour we went upstairs for a sit-down dinner, and then returned to the first floor for dancing after dinner was served. There was not one detail that went unnoticed here - even the arrangements in the bathroom were beautiful, tied in with monogrammed hand towels. I loved this unique venue selection and it was too much fun to be with all my old Union girls. I love college weddings for those who graduated circa 2001. Lots of love to Hillary to Scott!

 

Aw, I'm blushing

Check it out - someone just pointed me to this review of The New Wife. I'm apparently wise beyond my years here.

I'm reading this article interviewing the author of The First Year of Marriage and I can't stop thinking to myself yes, yes, check that's me, yes...Miriam Arond wrote the book with her husband, a marriage counselor, in which they surveyed thousands of newlyweds and then wrote about their findings. The book highlights the biggest pitfalls and misconceptions of marriage, as well as celebrates some of the accomplishments of the first most important year of marriage.  Here are some of Arond's words:

Probably the most interesting finding is that people who had an easy first year were more likely to divorce later. Those who described the first year as tumultuous found things easier later on. People who had an easy transition probably weren't acknowledging their differences. When people dealt with their differences right away, their marriage became much easier. One of the main points of writing the book was to let couples understand that conflict is a potential source of growth. It's not normal for couples to mesh with total ease; conflict can be a great thing. You can create something wonderful together.

The most surprising thing was that in this day and age, even when people have slept together, lived together, vacationed together, maybe bought a house together -- they still experience a tremendous amount of change when they marry. The relationship may seem the same on the outside, but there’s a lot going on unconsciously. You have certain assumptions, certain expectations (such as your conception of husband and wife roles), and a sense of forever, so couples often argue more after the wedding than before -- they aren't prepared.

Family issues come to a head in the first year of marriage. Even after the wedding, whose family do you visit on holidays? Whose family are you more like? Whose rituals do you adopt? Part of the first year's challenge is to solidify as a unit, and family can impinge on that and become a source of resentment. You may fight about all sorts of things and not realize that family allegiances are the root cause. But I think that in a healthy marriage, you can still be close with your families; you should still have close, nurturing relationships; you still need to look toward others because no one person can satisfy all your needs. But in a healthy marriage, the couple will primarily turn to each other. Many couples feel conflict between their loyalty to their family and their loyalty to their spouse, and they have troubles with this that can prevent them from building a strong marriage. The feeling of disloyalty to your family is so scary to people, but you need to know you're not being disloyal to your family by remaining faithful to your marriage partner.

Not only do their expectations of their spouse differ after marriage, their expectations of themselves also change. Some things may become more important to you after marriage -- people often surprise themselves. Also, your expectations of your spouse change. For example, you may have thought you were two independent, modern people, and suddenly you expect your spouse to be the sole provider. Or he may expect you to have dinner on the table. We bring all these expectations into the marriage. The more you can recognize what's going on and talk about it, the more you may realize that some expectations aren't realistic.

This is an important book - I need to pick up a copy.

Last night was so nice! Steve and I had a party here celebrating my birthday earlier this week - it was my first birthday celebrated as a "wife" and it was too nice to have all our friends once again in one place. Even my family could be a part of it (here I am so lucky as they all live in the city!) The day after our wedding was over, we realized how lucky we were to have all of our amazing friends, some of who live overseas,  in one place and knew it would be hard to ever replicate that again. That was a really hard thought to swallow - we felt overwhelmed that night being surrounded by so many people we absolutely love, some of whom we just don't get the chance to see all that often. Though we certaintly didn't replicate it last night, I just have to write that I adore my friends. And those that have paired off could not have chosen better boyfriends or husbands as I feel just as close to some of them as well. I really do feel quite lucky.

Wife School

Check it out, kinda funny:

http://www.vsocial.com/video/?l=29693