Luminations of a New Wife

Honeymoon Help

Planning the honeymoon can be one of the most rewarding and gratifying experiences of the entire wedding process.  But choosing the right place and finding the right time to go isn't always that smooth.

For our honeymoon we wanted to choose something different, a vacation we wouldn't otherwise get to experience. We chose South Africa and spent a week on Safari followed by a week's exploration of the rest of the country. It was an absolute trip of a lifetime, and I feel so fortunate we were able to do this trip at this point in our lives.

For the first part of the safari we went to Singita, www.singita.com, a luxury game reserve within the Sabi Sands. Here we stayed in individual lodges set apart from the rest of the guests, complete with our own heated pool overlooking the desert bush, colonial furniture and vibrant, ethnic craft and relics. Each morning we were awoken at 5:30 by a ranger who escorted us to the main lodge where we were greeted with coffee and hot chocolate. Warm water bottles and wool blankets awaited us on our jeep, as our ranger and spotter took us on an exploration of the land that was nothing short of unforgettable. We viewed so much more than the "Big   Five" and i've included some pictures on my photo album. We would return to the lodge after our morning drive where we awaited by a bountiful, delicious buffet. Afterwards, we would relax at the lodge, and even had massages under the sun on our own patio! Lunch was mid-day, another glorious buffet, and at 4:30 we met up with our rangers again the main lodge, where we were treated to hot chocolate before commencing our night drive. The night drives were my favorite - here we would view nocturnal animals emerging, and lions stirring from their slumber about to start their night hunt. As the sun set, we paused and sipped wine under the African stars as the sun disappeared into the bushveld. We returned to lodge, would take a nighttime swim in our pool before dinner. Dinners were incredulous - replete with indigenous fruits, delectable cheeses, and expertly paired wines selected by the sommelier himself. Nothing compared to the bond we shared with our ranger and spotter - their ability to spot an animal twenty miles in the distance based on the shape of a hoof-print left hours ago in the sand was literally unbelievable. If you are planning a trip to Singita please request Andre D'Hotman and tell him we sent you!

Next, we went to Leopard Hills, www.LeopardHills.com, another reserve in the Sabi Sands. Our glass-fronted suite situatied atop the African bushveld came with it's own sundeck, outdoor shower and rock plunge pool. Here we met other honeymooners and shared dinners with them under the stars in the BOMA -a reed-enclosed hut centered around a huge fire. Different terrain than Singita, here we saw the deadly hippos and other water animals.

After Safari we went to Plettenberg Bay, a beautiful coastal town located alongside the Garden Route. Plett Bay is characterised by it's beautiful view over the Indian Ocean, rocky peninsulas, towering indigenous forests and unpolluted rivers and sea. Here we did a lot of hiking and exploring and shopping and stayed at Tsala Tree Tops, www.TsalaTreeTops.com, where we had our own timber-lodge suite located twenty feet above ground! This tree-top lodge was complete with its own fireplace, where we roasted marshmellows and made smores.

 Next we went to Cape Town, the capital of South Africa, where we stayed at the Cape Grace, http://www.capegrace.com, located right on the waterfront. From Cape Town, we took a day trip to the nearby winelands and visited world reknown Stellenbosh, where we tasted indigenous grapes and tasty wines. We went to Cape Point, the southern most tip of South Africa where the warm Indian and cold Atlantic oceans connect - a thirty degree difference between the both! We tasted wonderful foods and went to some wonderfully special restaurants, including The Codfather in nearby Camp's Bay, where we could choose our own fish and how we wanted the cook to prepare it.

A Snowy Getaway

This past week Steve and I went skiing in Deer Valley, Utah and I have to say it was one of our best vacations EVER! I absolutely love skiing but Deer Valley is such a gorgeous mountain - we skiied with no lift lines, and were able to eat lunch atop the mountain each day, slushing down the mountain with the sun in our face. Staying at the Stein Erikson lodge definitely took skiing to another level. The lodge is located on the top of the mountain, so all you have to do is put your skis on and ski down to the bottom of the line - no schlepping whatsoever. Not to mention there were people there that literally help you put your boots on, and take them off after a long day of skiing. Can you believe? When we returned to our room we had our own hot tub on our balcony overlooking the mountain. We met lots of interesting people - many who thought we were honeymooning. But this is such a perfect place to honeymoon - not only is it amazing during the winter, but in the summer Utah is home to beautiful hiking, kayaking, fly fishing, hot air ballooning and so much more! If you are look ing for a different type of honeymoon place I absolutely suggest the Stein!

Honeymoon Expecations

I think one of the biggest kept secrets out there held loyally by devout newlyweds is that the honeymoon can be a stressful time.  It's a very surreal feeling when you wake up that first morning after saying your vows and realize that you are actually husband and wife. Years have been leading up to this huge event in your life - once you decided he was The One, you have spent sleepless nights dreaming of how he was going to propose, what the ring would like, how you would tell your friends - and in the blink of an eye, it's all over so soon.

It's such a release, emotionally, when the wedding finally comes. You are liberated from the "what ifs" and all the anxiety leading up to your wedding. I found it so freeing - I could just enjoy my life and remain in the present rather than focus all my thoughts and energy to the distant future. Hours spent devouring every last detail of your wedding are finally returned to you - you have your life back! The honeymoon is a time to completely unwind and relax and relish the feeling of being man and wife. But the honeymoon, like the wedding, is not free of it's own set of expecations and fantasies. I've asked some new wives what they thought of their own honeymoon. Here are their thoughts and advice for those brides-to-be:

"I think the problem with any vacation, not just a honeymoon, is that a week or so is a long time to be away with the same person. We are so used to day to day life where we both work and really only spend a few hours every day with our spouses and more time on the weekends. Seven days with the same person nonstop is a lot and can be stressful."

"Honeymoons can be tricky because you are just getting over the wedding planning & such, which is stressful in itself. Also, I think that idea of the entire honeymoon being "perfect, romantic & never fighting" is just setting yourself up for disaster."

"We took a cruise & ended up being stuck on the boat for 4 full days because of Hurricane Katrina. I ended up getting SICK because of the rough waters & spent a full day & a half in the room, so that sucked. Made it stressful b/c my husband felt fine & wanted to still go out & do things on the ship, but there was no getting me out of bed...."

"We had good times and bad times on the honeymoon. And from others that I talked to, it was the same. I think it's because we as women build it up to be this perfect, romantic, phenomenal time....and then it really is more normal than fairy tale like."

"We had an awesome time, no stress, no fighting. We were definitely on an "oh my god, we're married!" buzz, but I think part of it is we purposely went on a honeymoon where we could just lounge around. Low stress equates low disagreement."

"On our honeymoon to the French Polynesia we didn't fight, but it was just too long and there wasn't that much to do. We are both Type A so laying on the beach for 14 days got on our nerves. By the end we were bored silly, had spent a little too much "together time" without outside entertainment and we were definitely getting on each other's nerves. We decided if we go back we'll make it a shorter trip."

"We were in Hawaii for 10 days and honestly on the last day we were ready to come home. We had such a great time but it is a lot of time to just spend with one person (with out friends or family around to talk to or hang out with)."

"We had a big blowout on ours. Fortunately it passed, but it wasn't romantic 100% of the time. It was a stressful start though, since a major hurricane blew through the island the night we were scheduled to fly in. We had heard about it coming, so we postponed our travel plans. "

"Our honeymoon was great. However, it was great because we both gave each other time to do things alone if we wanted to. For example, for an hour I would read while he went exploring. We would then spend the remaining time together having fun. The good part was knowing that we could relax and have fun together. However, we were excited to come home!"

"We fought on our honeymoon. We fought a lot actually. We went to Disneyworld for our honeymoon, so that in itself it stressful. We didn't live together before we were married, so the first time that we had spent an extended amount of time together was at times awkard."

"Being with someone 24/7 (even in paradise) can bring out nitpickiness."

If we can learn anything from these new wives, PLEASE make sure to choose a destination that is free from any sort of natural disaster. And stay away from cruises and Disney world, for pete's sake.