Luminations of a New Wife

NYC Vendors

My mom and I went to the Wedding Library on 43 East 78th Street, www.weddinglibrary.com, which I found to be extremely useful. Through the library we were able to get referrals for photographers, videographers, invitations, and so much more.

We ended up using Farrel Duncan, our amazing photojournalist who shot our wedding. You can find her stuff at http://www.farrelduncan.com/. It is so important to find a photographer that you really click with - she plays such an invaluable role on your wedding day. Before I walked down the aisle, Farrel, my mom and I were left alone. She was a part of some very intimate moments and I liked that a lot.

I found my videographer through Craig's list. I wasn't sure at first if I even wanted one - it was important to me that there be no intrusive flashes, and that the cameras become almost invisible. Abby is a recent Tisch film school graduate who shoots in a very artsy, photojournalist style. Contact me for more information.

Carid did my hair - he's an amazing stylist who has been doing my mom's hair since she was 25, so do the math! Carid did a beautiful job and has such a calming, wonderful personality that I loved having him in the bridal suite with me on the day of our wedding (quite important!)http://www.caridnyc.com/

I just heard about a great deal for wedding invitations. Kate's paperie hosts bridal events - if you attend one, you get 10% of your wedding invites! http://www.katespaperie.com/store/events.php

Belle Fleur was my florist.  Margaret worked with us on every single detail and made it a very personalized (and beautiful!) experience.  You can find her work at www.bellefleurny.com

We made out-of-town gift bags to great and welcome our guests to New York. 'My Own Labels' is a great website where you can customize and create personalized stickers, CD labels, wine bottle labels, and even bottled water! http://www.myownlabels.com/.

Dance the night away at the wedding with your husband but practice with Dance Manhattan studios! We took six private Saturday morning classes, chose our own song, and were able to communicate that we didn't want such a stylized first dance number. Ask for Peter - he's wonderful! http://www.dance-manhattan.com/

Anne Barge designed my dress and we found it at the Bridal Atelier on 127 East 56th st. I loved this store because they carry various designers and give you a very personalized shopping experience. I worked with Sandra, who was fantastic. You can find their work at www.bridalatelier.com.

Other good places in the city to find a dress are:

• Amsale
  625 Madison Ave., nr. 58th St., 2nd fl.; 212-583-1700; amsale.com
  Made-to-order and couture gowns range from $3,000 to $16,000.
• Barneys New York
  Madison Ave. at 61st St.; 212-826-8900; barneys.com
• Bergdorf Goodman
  754 Fifth Ave., nr. 57th St.; 212-872-8957
  Specialized consultants will help with shoes, tiaras, and undergarments should you need it; dresses are $3,500 to $40,000.
• Clifford Michael Design
  45 E. 60th St., nr. Madison Ave.; 212-888-7665; cliffordmichael.com
  This elegant two-floor salon has a good selection of dresses for any traditional bride (or her mother), and my mother! My grandmother also bought her dress here.
• Kleinfeld
  8202 Fifth Ave., at 82nd St., Bay Ridge, Brooklyn; 718-765-8500; kleinfeldbridal.com
  You haven't really shopped for a wedding dress until you've checked out the 1,000 styles at this world-famous emporium. Gowns start at $1,000.
• Michelle Roth Design Studio
  24 W. 57th St., nr. Fifth Ave., Ste. 203;  212-245-3390; michelleroth.com              Roth's gowns start at $4,000, and her one-on-one sessions and active design studio make for an unforgettable dress.
• Reem Acra
  14 E. 60th St., nr. Madison Ave.; 212-308-8760; reemacra.com
  Sophisticated brides drool over the custom couture gowns that start at $20,000. Customized ready-to-wear versions start around $3,500.
• Saks Fifth Avenue
  611 Fifth Ave., at 49th St., eighth fl.; 212-940-2269; saksfifthavenue.com
  Don't be fooled by the bustling main floor - the bridal boutique is intimate, relaxing, and has fitting rooms the size of some studio apartments. Great service, selections, and prices here!
• Vera Wang
  991 Madison Ave., nr. 77th St.; 212-628-3400; verawang.com
  The grande dame offers gowns for every kind of bride (from $2,490).

NYC Ceremony/Reception Sites

This is not intended to overwhelm you, rather get you started on your journey:

The University Club
1 W. 54th St., at Fifth Ave; 212-247-2100
Receptions are held in the Main Dining Room, with oak-paneled walls, a gold ceiling, and marble floors. There is a $3,000 space fee, plus a starting price of $210 per person for catering for 175 to 350 guests.

Angel Orensanz Foundation
172 Norfolk St., nr. E. Houston St.; 212-529-7194
orensanz.org
Once a synagogue, this dramatic 1849 building is now open to anyone who wants to throw a party. Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick said "I do" here. Prices vary depending on number of guests and day of the week (seats 260). Bring your own caterer.

Bridgewaters
11 Fulton St., nr. Front St.; 212-608-7400
theglaziergroup.com
This dramatic events space at South Street Seaport offers two lofty rooms that each seat 75 to 400 guests. Best feature: gorgeous views of the Brooklyn Bridge and New York Harbor, plus wraparound terraces. Buffet and seated-wedding menus, including alcohol, start at $185 per guest.

Capitale
130 Bowery, at Grand St.; 212-334-5500
capitaleny.com
The Stanford White–designed Bowery Savings Bank, complete with Corinthian columns and Venetian glass under 75-foot ceilings, is now the luxurious Capitale. Four private rooms are available for 75 to 1,500 guests. Prices vary depending on season and number of guests.

The Central Park Boathouse
Fifth Ave. at 72nd St.; 212-517-2233
This charming pavilion is set by the lake in the heart of the park and features wrapping French doors that open to an English garden and wooden patios that face the water's edge. Book the Boathouse's event space, which hosts up to 240 seated guests; from $145 per person.

Cipriani at 23rd St.
200 Fifth Avenue, at 23rd St.; 212-755-0900
cipriani.com
In terms of iconic Manhattan backdrops, this place is hard to beat: ornate 22-foot ceilings, the ballroom (accommodates 300 with dancing), and the Oak Room (400 for cocktails)—not to mention the Art Deco style. Rates vary depending on season.

The Lighthouse at Chelsea Piers
23rd St. at the Hudson River; 212-336-6144
piersixty.com
This airy event space offers floor-to-ceiling windows with gorgeous views of the harbor and an enclosed terrace big enough to seat 180 (total seated capacity for the space is 300). Caterer Abigail Kirsch whips up delectable creations. Sit-down or buffet dinners range from $115 to $225 per guest. kosher. The windows light up at night when votive candles are placed on each window sill. The food and the views are supreme!

Mandarin Oriental, New York
80 Columbus Circle, at 60th St.; 212-805-8800
mandarinoriental.com
The hotel’s massive, chandelier-lit, 36th-floor ballroom with wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling views of Central Park is unlike any other—“stunning” seems too easy a description—and can host up to 400 guests for dinner and dancing; sit-down dinner starts at $350 and includes alcohol.

Manhattan Penthouse
80 Fifth Ave., at 14th St.; 212-627-8838
manhattanpenthouse.com
Located on the top floor of a historic building near Union Square, this bright 8,000-square-foot space lined with ficus trees can accommodate up to 225 seated guests (with dancing). Prices are $75 to $150 per person; in-house catering, full bar, and equipment are all included.

Metropolitan Pavilion
125 W. 18th St., nr. Sixth Ave.; 212-463-0071
metropolitanevents.com
The Metropolitan Pavilion may be a bare, high-ceilinged loft, but decked out with votive candles and sheer drapes to section off the room, it’s a warm and elegant party space. Celebrations can also be huge—up to 1,200 guests for a seated dinner, from $135 to $175 per person.

The Puck Building
295 Lafayette St., nr. Houston St.; 212-274-8900
puckcaterers.com
This landmarked Soho building boasts more than 14,000 square feet of event space, with sparsely decorated white walls and columns, two gorgeous chandeliers, and white curtains that can be parted to yield an incredible amount of natural light (think of all the flowers and lighting direction you'll need to spruce up the blank wall space!) The seventh-floor Skylight Ballroom seats up to 250 guests. Both are available year-round from $7,000 apiece.

The Rainbow Room
30 Rockefeller Plaza, nr. Fifth Ave.; 212-632-5000
rainbowroom.com
The famed local institution offers six private rooms from which to choose, all of which are decorated in the restaurant’s signature Art Deco style. The space accommodates 20 to 400 people for dinner, and the food is provided is by local fixture Cipriani. If you tire of dancing, look out the window to remember why you chose the space: the views of Central Park and the Empire State Building are nothing short of spectacular. Don't forget the spinning dance floor!

Splashlight Studios
529-535 W. 35th St., nr. Tenth Ave.; 212-268-7247
splashlightstudios.com
If you've always imagined your wedding orchestrated by Leo Castelli, you’ll want to check out Splashlight, a columnless 23,000-square-foot space with brushed-concrete floors, eighteen-foot-high ceilings, and southern and northern city views. Prices range from a mere $4,500 to $30,000 for the whole building. Remember, think of LOTS of flowers and LOTS of lighting direction.

Tavern on the Green
Central Park at W. 67th St.; 212-873-4111
tavernonthegreen.com
Many couples looking to plan an old-fashioned fairy-tale wedding choose this sprawling, fanciful space on the western edge of Central Park, surrounded by topiary animals and trees with twinkling white lights. In-house event planners arrange everything from flowers to entertainment to wedding souvenirs. The suggested wedding menu starts at $110 per guest (I know, surprising, right?) and range dramatically based on space chosen and number of guests. No outside catering except kosher.

Beekman Tower Hotel; 3 Mitchell Pl., nr. 49th St.; 212-355-7300
topofthetowernyc.com
Located on 26th floor, this restaurant features live piano entertainment and a wraparound terrace that ups the romance factor. Catering options are available, and the well-trained staff offers a customized menu for private parties of up to 120 guests. From $125 per person.

Tribeca Rooftop
2 Desbrosses St., nr. Hudson St.; 212-625-2600
tribec.com
One of the most popular wedding sites in Manhattan, this bright, indoor-outdoor event space usually books a year in advance, thanks to its wide-open feeling and excellent location. The 15,000-square-foot, skylight-lit penthouse offers striking views of the Hudson River, the Empire State Building, Soho, and Chinatown, and can seat up to 360 guests. Prices run about $165 to $225 per guest. I love the choice between either an outdoor or indoor ceremony. After the reception, why not use the outdoor lounge space and convert the white couches into a trendy cigar bar?

Twenty Four Fifth
24 Fifth Ave., nr. 9th St.; 212-505-8000
theglaziergroup.com
Etched silver-leaf mirrors set off the cream-colored walls, and chandeliers light the sunken marble dance floor. The building can accommodate up to 200 for dinner, or 400 for cocktails; customized menus will cost $165 per guest, including cocktails. No outside catering except kosher.

'21' Club
21 W. 52nd St., nr. Fifth Ave.; 212-582-1400
21club.com
The elegant townhouse setting of this famed speakeasy turned restaurant will accommodate groups as small as 10 or as large as 800. You may choose the chef’s seven-course “Wine Cellar” tasting menu ($450 per person) or plan a menu of your own (from $139). No outside catering except kosher.

Union Square Ballroom
27 Union Square West, nr. 16th St.; 212-645-1802
unionsquareballroom.com
Though a few unobtrusive features like recessed floor lighting give it a modern feel, the two-room, 4,000-square-foot Ballroom is generally (and intentionally) a “blank palette” that guests can tailor to any desired style. The venue can host up to 150 seated for weddings at a cost of $150 per person, in-house, modern American catering included and mandatory (kosher allowed).

West Side Loft
336 W. 37th St., nr. Eighth Ave.; 212-871-0940
westsideloft.com
Located in the same building as Loft Eleven and Penthouse 15, it is the most classically decorated of the trio, marked by fireplaces, chandeliers, and a “garden room” with slate floors. The space holds 200 for dinner or 350 for drinks. Prices range from $5,500 to $7,000.

Brooklyn Botanic Garden
1000 Washington Ave., at Eastern Pkwy.; Prospect Heights, Brooklyn; 718-623-7220
bbg.org
The 52-acre Botanic Garden has numerous sites for ceremonies. Exclusive caterers Charles, Sally & Charles will take over the whole garden (which can host 400 guests for cocktails and 300 for seated dinner) for your party for a site fee of $2,000 to $4,000, plus $110 to $160 per person. Open year-round, but BOOK EARLY! When I called them in Sept. of 2004, they were already booked for 2005!

The New York Botanical Garden
Bronx River Parkway at Fordham Rd., the Bronx; 718-220-0300
nybg.org
There are two sites to choose from in these beautifully maintained gardens. The Garden Terrace Room, with lush-looking murals on the walls and soft sconce lighting, will seat 300. Seated groups of 110 might prefer Snuff Mill. Catering is provided by Abigail Kirsch, starting at $120 per person.

Throw out your bridal magazines!

Just before I got engaged I had compiled lots of bridal magazines that I eagerly fipped through in anticipation of planning the wedding. As soon as I got engaged, so much had changed...the magazines appeared to be a blur of confusing, overwhelming information. They taunted me from their glossy pages bellowing out to me that I should be doing this, how dare I think of doing that. I had a very different way of planning my wedding than the magazines proposed - first and most importantly, planning a wedding did not (and should not!) take over your life! I did not become a bridezilla because I wasn't interested in becoming one. At all. I didn't have long introspective moments where I became lost in a dreamworld fantasizing about the color of my calla lillies. Other things were so much more important to me - getting married is a life transition, there is no other way around it. So many girls get caught up in the touch and feel of their table linen that they loose the real meaning and essence of their wedding day. Use the time of your engagement to think about what it means to YOU to become a wife. What will change? What will most definitely not? Try not to get too caught up in the details; this day is so much more meaningful than the intertwining minutiae composing the event. You do have control - this is YOUR day, so try to relax and enjoy...

Best Kept Secret...

For all your bridal-related needs, skp the retail stores and check out the fashion district for some unbelievable savings. Here you'll find countless stores carrying an assortment of veils, hair clips, jewelry and so much more. Here's a list of some to get you started:

Kortia Couture Bridal & Salon; 150w. 36th St., Fashion District; 212.239.3491

Betty Wales Bridal; 135 W. 36th St., Fashion District; 212.279.8895

Kortia Couture Bridal & Salon; 150 W. 36th St., Fashion District; 212.239.3491

   

12 Questions to Ask Your....

The Knot has a great checklist of questions to ask your photographer and/or videographer when you meet them. In fact, one photographer my mom and I interviewed anticipated we would bring "The Knot's List" with us that he began the interview answering the questions....(I know, wierd).

So, without further ado, here is the "essential" list of questions to ask away. I am posting the whole thing, but writing my opinion as to which questions are essential and which waste your time! Enjoy.

12 Questions to Ask Your Wedding Videoographer

1. What's the videographer's style -- cinematic, documentary, or a mix of both? (Then ask yourself: Does this jibe with what you're going for?) Important one! We chose documentary style which blended with the big picture idea of what we wanted for the wedding.

2. Has the videographer done many weddings before? What's his or her story-telling approach when it comes to taping a wedding? (This clues you in to experience and philosophy.) Ask to view samples of his/her recent work. Before even scheduling the interview ask if the videographer can e-mail you samples of his work. Why waste your time with a full-on interview if you haven't even seen her work yet!

3. Has the videographer won any awards? Is he/she a member of any national and local videography associations? Um, who cares...if you like his work, that's all that matters!

4. How does he or she coordinate with a wedding photographer? Has the videographer worked with your photographer before? Good question. I was so happy to see my photographer and videographer bonding at my wedding!

5. Has he/she ever shot a wedding at your ceremony and/or reception site? If so, can you see the tape?

6. How many other weddings is the videographer doing on your wedding day or weekend? (Make sure there are no time constraints.) And make sure your's is the ONLY one!

7. Will the videographer you're speaking to be the one who will be shooting your wedding? If not, make sure you speak to whoever will actually shoot. For larger weddings (around 200 people), usually there will be TWO videographers.

8. What types of cameras, tapes, and microphones will the videographer use? How new is the equipment? Ask him/her to explain how certain effects are achieved and to outline the benefit of using certain technologies. Steve and I were very anti the microphone interviews. I find it very intrusive and annoying when you're slicing your chicken and all of a sudden there is a microphone in your face...

9. Ask about editing equipment. Request an explanation of the technological process. Um, do you care about this?! Yeh, me neither. By the time this question rolls around you should already have a good feel for her work!

10. How bright a light do they use? (If shooting requires the room lights to be on all evening, much of the romance and ambiance of your event may be lost.) Excellent question. I wanted limitted flash, and a very unobtrusive videographer. Think about what YOU want before this interview.

11. Will a backup camera be on hand for the event? Such specifics! Again, you should know this by the time this question rolls around....

12. How does the videographer charge for services? Are there packages? Request a price list.

12 Questions to Ask Your Wedding Photographer

1. Do you shoot in color or black and white? Or both? This is important. I like both - what do you like?

2. Will these pictures be taken in Digital or Film?

3. Medium Format or 35mm camera? Do you know what this means? Neither do I. If you do - ask away. If you don't, move on....

4. What kind of input can we have on the direction of the shots? Can we give you a shot list to work from? I never understood those brides who actually type up lists of their "favorite shots" and hand them to their photographer before their wedding day. Steve and I wanted a very casual, artistic, candid-style looking photos. If you are into posed, stylized photos, then DO create this list. If not, move on....

5. Are you the person who will actually take our pictures? If not, can we meet the person who will be?

6. Can we meet any assistants who will also be taking pictures? Again folks, you'll need to trust your photographer here. Do you really want to schedule another interview to meet their assistant? If she was good enough for your photographer to hire, she'll be good enough for you...

7. How many weddings have you photographed before? How many similar to the size and formality of our wedding?

8. How many other weddings will you also photograph that weekend? Again, we're looking for the answer "Just yours!"

9. What kind of equipment will you bring with you? How intrusive will lighting, tripods, etc. be? Good question. The last thing we were interested in were intrisuve lighting that took away from our special moment.

10. Do you develop your own film?

11. Can we buy the negatives from you?

12. Do we get to keep all of the proofs?

Showered with Love

I loved my shower! Any occassion to bring my girlfriends all together, along with my mom's friends, is a joyous event! My shower was one of the most memorable and enjoyable events experienced throughout my wedding journey. I chose to have a Thursday night fete at my grandmother's apartment, who also lives in New York City. There are also some great restaurants in New York that would gladly accomodate shower parties of around 30 or more.

My mom and I decided on a "linen and lace" theme, which we somewhat carried through the whole event. Guests purchased lingerie for me as well as linen goods, including napkins, pillow cases, guest hand towels, and placemats.  For favors, we handmade lavender sachets. We bought individual bags of beaded organza and placed tablespoons on lavender into each one for a sweet smelling gift!

We also found a great website, Candy Wrapper Store, where you can design the label of your own chocolate bar. How cute. Your guests will really love this.

For decoration on the table, we sprinkled M&Ms personalized with my name on it!

We also got miniature champagne buckets and placed the candies inside to give guests to take home.

Another great website for personalizing candy is Sugar Sugar Handmade Lollies. They have a great assortment of candies you can personalize. I like the option of bulk packaging the best, where you can use the little candies in any way you please.

My mom bought a beautiful book we transformed into a memory book. We had a poloroid camera on hand so when guests arrived, my bridesmaids would take a picture of them, and add it to their "memory page" for me. Guests wrote beautiful messages to me and I will have that book forever! 

Engagement parties, rehearsal dinners & brunches...

Here's my compilation of the most reasonably priced restaurants in NYC offerning fantastic venues and scrumptious food. Most of the restaurants on this list can accomodate all three different types of events. We chose Tribeca Grill to host our engagement party, and Zoe for our rehearsal dinner. Both venues were perfect for the amount of people and bustling energy in the room.

BLT Fish
21 W. 17th St., nr. Fifth Ave.;212-691-8888;bltfish.com
The second-floor private dining room accommodates 100 for cocktails or 65 for dinner. Rent the third floor with its movable glass roof for under-the-stars dining. Preset menus start at $75.

Blue Water Grill
31 Union Sq. W., at 16th St.;212-331-0328;brguestrestaurants.com
Plush velvet curtains warm up the vault room in this cavernous former bank where up to 35 people can dine for $65 a head, more for hors d’oeuvre, sushi, or raw bar.

Brasserie
100 E. 53rd St., nr. Park Ave.;212-949-8248;restaurantassociates.com
This midtown mainstay in the Seagram building is a good bet for up to 160 people. The Park Avenue breakfast buffet is $35–$44 per guest.

Brasserie 81/2
9 W. 57th St., nr. Fifth Ave.;212-829-9577;restaurantassociates.com
The main room seats 250, the private room 75, and the lounge another 50. Rent one space or all three. For $45 per head, you’ll enjoy a menu that you plan yourself.

The Capital Grille
155 E. 42nd St., nr. Lexington Ave.;212-953-2000;thecapitalgrille.com
For about $90 per person (or $45 for lunch), you can rent the wine vault, which holds 24; the Chrysler Room, which holds 36; or a third area that can house up to 80.

Compass
208 W. 70th St., nr. Amsterdam Ave.;212-875-8600;compassrestaurant.com
Two rooms fit 50 people each—a chef’s room with kitchen viewing and a semi-private lounge with its own bar. Dine for $90 to $150 per head, or have a brunch from $40 to $50.

Crispo
240 W. 14th St., nr. Eighth Ave.;212-229-1818
The enclosed rear patio can accommodate twenty for semi-private dining, and the canvas roof can be opened in the spring and summer. Three-course menus start at $45.

Daniel
60 E. 65th St., nr. Park Ave.;212-288-0033;danielnyc.com
The Bellecour room, with gold-leafed sconces and taffeta curtains, seats 30 to 80. You'll pay $115 per person for dinner, plus $500 for the room.

Dos Caminos
373 Park Ave. So., nr. 26th St.;212-294-1000;brguestrestaurants.com
Toast your marriage with in one of three private or semi-private spaces, holding from 15 to 75 people. It’s a great value (from $48 a head, not including alcohol) and lots of fun.

Eleven Madison Park
11 Madison Ave., at 24th St.;212-889-0905
Invite 10 to 54 guests to dine for $90 to $130 a head.

Etats-Unis
242 E. 81st St., nr. Second Ave.;212-517-8826
You can book this 32-seat gem, or its even smaller wine bar, for $50 to $150 per person (rental fee $2,000 to $5,000).

Oceana
55 E. 54th St., nr. Madison Ave.;212-759-5941;oceanarestaurant.com
Sample highly rated seafood in two distinctive rooms: the expansive Salon (minimum $6,000) seating 35 to 60, and the intimate Wine Cellar for 12 to 25 (minimum of $1,500).

Pampano
209 E. 49th St., nr. Third Ave.;212-751-4545;modernmexican.com
An ultra-creamy décor and skylit dining room accomodate up to 70; a three-course dinner runs about $120.

Spice Market
403 W. 13th St., at Ninth Ave. 212-675-2322;jean-georgevongerichten.com
This hot spot offers six private alcoves for cocktails and hors d’oeuvre for up to 30 guests; appetizers-and-beverage minimum starts at $50 per person. For larger parties, rent out a semi-private room and get the entire lounge just for you (prices vary).

Tavern on the Green
Central Park W. at 67th St.;212-873-3200;tavernonthegreen.com
This city icon’s ensemble of six private rooms and seasonal tents can welcome from 25 to 600 people, starting at $100 per person.

Trattoria Dopo Teatro
125 W. 44th St., nr. Sixth Ave.; 212-869-2849;dopoteatro.com
This theater-district Italian, with private rooms for 10 to 110 guests serves meals for $35–$55.

Tribeca Grill
375 Greenwich St., at Franklin St.;212-941-3905;myriadrestaurantgroup.com
There’s a brick-loft feel at Tribeca Grill, where three private rooms seat 40, 80, and 120. Brunch starts from $39 and dinner from $59

The Water Club Restaurant
500 E. 30th St., at the East River;212-545-1155;thewaterclub.com
This yacht-club-themed offers a prime view of the water and accommodates up to 175.

Zoe

90 Prince St;866-260-6769;www.zoerest.com

Contemporary American cuisine in Soho. Exposed wood-burning oven, terra cotta columns, wines by bottle and glass, cocktails and beer.

A Sparkly Mrs.

Some brides, including myself, wear their new name sparkled across a "Mrs." t-shirt for their day-after brunch. This is also a cute gift idea that can be presented to the bride during the bachelorette festivities. Check out www.RhinestoneRevival.com - they have a lot of different items, including hoodies, tanks and yoga pants that you can personalize and even customize by  choosing the color of the crystal! Good prices, too...

More notes on planning...

Friends of ours were telling us about their friend, who was a bridesmaid in an absolute  "bridezilla" wedding. This bride dictacted everything her bridesmaids should wear, including the shade of nailpolish and how they shoud freakin' shape their nails! Can you imagine?!? This poor bride just totally missed the boat in thinking about her own wedding. If planning the  wedding is taking over your life, and you have become so obsessed with it you even forgot WHY you were getting married in the first place, I URGE you to take a step back and relegate some wedding-related responsibilities to a trusted other, such as a friend, mother, bridesmaid, etc.

I can only imagine what this bride sacrificed at the sake of maintaining a certain image she wanted for her bridesmaids. Perhaps her anxieties of entering this life-transition with her partner became too overwhelming for her, and talking about her feelings (a BIG taboo in society where weddings are still seen as complete fairytales) would lead others to wonder why she was going to go through it at all.  Instead, she placed her anxieties on more tangible, acceptable things such as the hue of her bridesmaid's nailpolish. This leads to me think about the "Conscious Bride" by  Sheryl Paul, who writes that she "commends brides for having the courage to delve beyond the superficial aspects of a wedding and dive into its emotional underbelly. The grief, fear, confusion, and sense of aloneness that often accompany this event are pushed underground.  So it has become something of a taboo in our culture to utter the words "grief" and "wedding" in the same breath. Yet how could grief and fear not be a part of this transition! We have the bride and groom letting go of their singlehood and stepping into one of the biggest commitments of their lives; we have the mothers of the bride and groom letting go of their "little ones"; and we have girlfriends freaking out about panty hose color when really they're scared about losing, at least temporarily, their lifelong friend. In short, a wedding, as the rite of passage that it is, involves a loss and a gain, a death and a birth, an ending and a beginning. And in order to celebrate the joy and embrace the birth that a wedding and new marriage brings, we need to be willing to face our fears, honor our losses, and talk about more than napkin colors and flower arrangements as the big day nears." I really love what she writes. Read more on http://www.consciousweddings.com/index.php?d=about.

Yarmulkes...

I scoured the internet for yarmulkes, and was surprised with how many different sites there are and how the prices were quite competitive. We wanted something simple, with our names inside. It can be a crap shoot buying something of the 'net, especially for your wedding, but you won't be disappointed with Weinfeld.